Miraculous and Mundane

Today was Laundry Day (in preparation for our trip coming up on Saturday- eeesh, it's getting close). I hate doing laundry, and I always like to watch TV while I do it- funny enough Carolyn already knows that when I get the massive pile of clothes out to fold, we get to watch a movie.  :) Today's choice was Peter Pan.

My heart has been heavy all day long. I've been praying this summer for a little girl who is just about a year older than Carolyn. 10 weeks ago, she was diagnosed with a terrible form of brain cancer, and, medically speaking, she doesn't have much time left. It's one of those truly horrible stories- the worst thing a parent could possibly imagine. Ava so desperately needs a miracle. I know that God CAN heal her- that she CAN be a tremendous testimony to His power to intervene even when all human understanding says its impossible. And yet I know that He very well may choose not to intervene. And somehow, in spite of it, He MUST still be God, must still be loving, must still have a plan for redemption. I don't know how to put all that together in my head when everything inside me screams that this is NOT OKAY.

Today I went through the events of my day- a pretty everyday sort of day- we went to the park, the grocery store, had nap time, laundry time, dinner time. All the normal stuff. And yet somewhere in Florida another set of parents spent what might be one of their last days with their daughter. I could not stop thinking about it today.

Not always in a good way. This is one of those things that no one could anticipate, no one could possibly see coming... and hence it's one of those things that tends to capture my mind with worry. I can think of no greater tragedy than something like that happening to one of those sweet little ones I love so much. I've been struggling with anxiety.

And yet on the other hand, I've also found myself more aware than usual of the little things that make up the miraculous of an otherwise mundane day. The light in my children's eyes, the sweetness of their voices, the sheer beauty of them in their pureness of spirit and vitality. I appreciated them more acutely today than I often do. It's so easy to get stuck in the mundane and miss the miracle.

I don't think I will ever be able to understand why things like this happen. I'm praying for this family with all my heart, praying for Ava... and also praying for the many others of us out there who see this situation and are reminded afresh of how fragile life is. Praying that it will drive me (and others) to fall at the knees of the Holy One, Maker of Heaven and earth and beg for peace that passes understanding that can only come from a divinely gifted knowledge that somewhere, out there, there is a solution, a redemption that is only waiting until the appointed time to be unleashed.

*If you want to pray for Ava too, you can read her dad's blog at http://joshuajoelhunter.blogspot.com/ Don't read it if it will only cause you to be anxious. But if you will pray, pray, and pray, read it, and ask God for the strength to bear the gaping questions it may cause you to ask.

Last Beach Night

Yup, we were back at the beach again tonight. Our last night on that particular beach for this year. :( Nana and Papa are moving out this week and coming to stay with us for their last couple weeks in Michigan before they head back home to South Carolina.

The weather complied nicely, warming the water back up and making the temperature feel lovely at the beach.

Wish my back view looked half as cute as this!

Front view's thoroughly adorable, too!

She had a great time getting caked (again) with sand.

And this one swam until the sun went down!

Great summer times on the lake! Great night tonight. Gonna miss that beach!

Kitchen Helper

We had a cooking afternoon. Carolyn borrowed a repurposed pharmacy smock to protect her clothes while she "helped" me make raspberry jam with all our raspberries from the other day. Now we have 10 jars- about 10 times more than we will eat this year! So if you want some yummy raspberry freezer jam, just say the word. :)

We also harvested the basil leaves from our plants to make a vat of pesto.  I tried a new kind of cheese for the pesto and was favorably impressed. I'm starting to feel a little overwhelmed by the fact that we are leaving for 9 days on Saturday! I'm sad about leaving the girls, anxious that something might happen to them while we're gone... and kinda stressed out about everything there is to do to try to get off on such a monumental adventure!! I've never been to Alaska before! It still seems sort of unreal that we are going to be on a boat going there in just a week! I'm going to miss the girlies like crazy, but it will be so nice to have some good uninterrupted adult time with Brad. We did this once before and it really helped reconnect us... like most parents, "we" sometimes get lost in the shuffle of diapers and naps and playtime and dinner and dishes and laundry. Every once in awhile, a break from everything is so nice. So the slogan from Princess Cruises really does fit- "Escape Completely."

Inspired

My friend Katie was the latest in a series of people I know who have started a picture-a-day blog, and she inspired me to give it a try. I'm intrigued by the idea of a snapshot of each day- a little window into our world that day- one picture, one sentence, once a day. I don't think I could find enough room for the magnitude of self-expression I seem to find necessary in a one-sentence-a-day blog, so I am going to continue this blog for my own therapy and for the more detailed documenting of the minutiae of our life... in case I am ever interested in writing my own novel (ha!) but for those of you who are interested in the encapsulated version, you can bookmark Irving Family 365, our new picture-a-day blog.

Dune Running

We went back to Nana and Papa's cottage tonight- they are almost done with their stay there. :( It's been so much fun having them close- and having such a fun place to go by the lake!! Already looking forward to next summer. :)

Tonight the water was too cold to be much fun for swimming, so we went to a nearby park where there is a dune they've actually set up for kids to run down! Carolyn had a ball! I had some fun trying to improve my action shot photography skills. Still needs a lot of work...

But it's getting better. :)

This one wasn't half bad. :)

And this picture is one of my favorites from the whole summer of Carolyn. She's never been a camera lover. Her sweetness is truly pixie in nature- fleeting, beautiful, natural- but the moment passes almost as soon as you can try to take out the camera to capture it. This picture says "Carolyn" to me- she's gorgeous in her windswept, carefree, innocent childish way. I love her so much.

Nora didn't really care so much for running down the dune. She preferred to scootch down on her little behind. Can anyone say "SAND?" 

She, I think was born for pictures. She is much more outgoing and a total people pleaser. Beautiful, too- but her beauty is different from her sister's. I love that they are unique individuals- and the bigger they grow, the more I come to appreciate them!

Nora loved the stairs tonight. She climbed all the way up to the top all by herself!! Of course I was right behind her... but she really loved all those stairs to climb. She's so "over" doing things the "baby way." This itty bitty child actually attempted to walk up the stairs like a big person instead of crawling up them! She amazes me with her independent spirit and her "do it myself" drive!

There were some seriously sandy feet by the end of this night. And here she shows us all. :) Isn't she cute?

Raspberry Day

Today we went someplace fun. :)

We picked raspberries! They were sooo delicious. I picked about 3 pounds of raspberries! Tomorrow looks like jam day...

Yes, I did dress Nora on purpose in cute overalls with my favorite new apple clippie in her hair so she would look like such a sweet little farm girl.

I don't get to choose Carolyn's clothes anymore... or I probably would have picked something to match the red in the headband... but at least she's voluntarily wearing something I made! That's progress. :)

I did most of the picking. The girls mostly ate raspberries.

They were very tasty.

Carolyn had a bucket tied around her waist to pretend to pick and keep raspberries... but she pretty much ate everything she picked too. :)

Fun times. Fun times. :)

Comcast

Today I totally needed an evening of NOT having to prepare dinner. The Comcast people were supposed to be here between 9:30 and noon this morning to install our new service (u-verse just got too expensive). They were running late and didn't show up until about 1pm. Then there were all kinds of complications with our security system that made the install take over 4 hours to finish- and even then it's still not all working the way it's supposed to. More fun visitors have to come to our house this week to try to fix the mess the boys made today. For several hours we didn't have internet... and I was just about to DIE (seriously, I think I'd better get an iPhone someday because I cannot STAND being disconnected!)- now at least that is fixed so I can BREATHE. I'm kidding a little bit... but I am really too attached to my technology.

Anyway I didn't get to leave the house ALL DAY. I have some kind of summer cold and I don't feel great, so I was a little edgy today and by the time dinner rolled around and Brad was still at a meeting I couldn't face the prospect of feeding my progeny in the house! So off to Logan's we went- always a hit with everyone. And now they are in bed and I can nurse my headache in peace!

I hope Comcast turns out to be better service than it seems like from day one!

Contentment

This was before Carolyn candidly stated, "I don't like pictures. I don't like any pictures." Too bad, because she makes such cute ones. :) We did put the camera away shortly after this and played a rousing family game of duck-duck-goose (with slightly modified rules :))

And I love this picture where Nora's just about to leap into space... :) While noticeably more adept than average at most physical challenges, she can't quite get her jumps off the ground yet. Who cares, though; her sister didn't get air until close to 3! :) We always say this little one is going to be our gymnast, though- she has the necessary body style- miniscule- and unusually good balance for one her size. :)

So pretty pictures aside, would you believe me if I said that even with the abundant blessings that race through my house and hang on my slightly sagging flesh all day long... I am still struggling with contentment? For some reason it was a hard day for me today- there are several people I know who are just about as pregnant as I would have been if we had not lost that baby back in May... and now they are all starting to hit some of those pregnancy milestones, and as happy as I am for people I genuinely love, for some reason, the happiness for their blessings is always a little tinged with hurt over what I lost, over what I have no guarantee I will be able to have again. And I confess that ugly old green monster reared its head in my heart today. And it's really time for it to go.

There really is much to rejoice about, even though so much of parenting is rather bittersweet. You swell with pride as your children grow and begin to take on the world... and yet each milestone is always a little bit of a sorrow as you know they will never again be quite exactly the same. I think one of the reasons I struggle so much with fearing for my future fertility is that I cannot bear to say "goodbye" to Nora's babyness and Carolyn's toddler innocence without knowing that other rolly polly adorable little ones will fall in line behind them. I fear the passing of this stage of life because it has been one of the happiest I have ever known. Other wonderful things may be to come... but it won't be exactly the same. Anyone with small children can testify to the fact that some of the more unpleasant moments sometimes seem to drag on forever... but that the days themselves just fly by like precious pearls on a string, gone forever at the setting of the sun. I kiss my girls good night as they dream and they wake up just a little bit bigger, wiser, and older... always changing, always growing. I fear the day when they grow beyond me.

I think that's one of the reasons I feel so anxious to see concrete proof that other little ducklings will fall in line behind them. Maybe it's not a very good reason... but it's a reason. However, it doesn't do me any good to focus on that which I cannot change or really even influence. Far better for me to continue to try to find contentment where we are. And it really IS a good place. :) I bought a little sign for my bathroom today on a whim at a little gift shop. It's a simple reminder that "This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it."

Weekend Wrapup

We had a truly great weekend. :) It was so wonderful seeing the Scheffers and baby Elliot. :)

He is without a doubt one of the most precious baby boys ever!! A friend once told me that your sister's kids seem almost like your own... and it certainly feels that way to me. I was just ecstatic when I found out she was pregnant, and I'm loving watching her settle into being a mom and doing such a wonderful job loving Elliot. :) And who wouldn't love such an adorable boy!!

This is not a great picture- but it is the only one we have with all the adults in it! :) We found a way to work out some of the kinks of sleeping all in the same room... after a lovely family swim in the fantastic pool at the hotel, we put the girls to bed and then we pretended like we were on a field trip or something and camped out in the hall. At least two sets of hotel workers stopped by to see what we were doing (that's who took the picture, and that camera can be a little ominous)... but no one made us leave, so we sat out there and played a hand of Euchre (girls won from behind!) and ate the cheesecake we took to go from the Cheesecake Factory that night. :)

Oh and we watched Elliot hang out between a couple of pillows. I think he got to stay there for about 10 minutes tops before someone scooped him up (too delicious of a baby to let him stay on the ground! besides he was good luck :))

A great time was had by all. :) Can't wait to visit again!!

Today's Post: The Zoo

Shell and Bry and E had their pictures taken this morning, so we Irvings got an early start and went to the Brookfield Zoo. We're getting our money's worth out of our membership! :) It's such a fun option for us when we are in the Chicago area- the zoo is just a couple miles from Shelly and Bryan's house.

We brought too much stuff to be able to fit the stroller in the trunk, so we had to rent a wagon (someday when we get a minivan we will be able to bring along our own wagon! I can't wait...) Here the girls are intently staring at a family of peacocks- there were even baby peacocks!

This zoo has the best carousel. Carolyn always wants to go now.

This time she decided to be brave and ride an "up and down animal." First time since the disastrous summer she was 1 and scarred forever when her mother put her on a carousel animal!

When the ride was over, she was SO proud of herself for being brave!

We saw many real animals, but the girls seemed to really enjoy climbing on the pretend ones just as much. :)

Carolyn and the bumpy frog.

An attempt to get a picture of both girls on the frog.

They have a very nice children's zoo here. There is an area with a bunch of pettable goats and they have a basket of brushes for the kids to enjoy brushing the goats- and all the brushing makes the goats happy too, so that's a win-win. :)

Nora was a bit nervous when goats twice her size moved suddenly near her... but she still enjoyed brushing the ones that were lying down.

These goats have a good life because in addition to constant brushing, the kids can also feed the goats through this space.

I like this picture of Nora's hand and open mouth. :) And I love my f/2.8. :)

Yesterday's Post: Baby Elliot Meets Uncle Brad

Here's the post I should have done yesterday... but staying in a single hotel room with an 18 month old and an overtired 4-year-old is just about as much fun as it sounds like... not much. With the stereophonic weeping from the rollaway and the pack n play... I just didn't feel like blogging!

But aside from the less-than-ideal sleeping arrangements (we got the hotel on Hotwire for a great deal!)- we are having a wonderful time visiting Nephew Elliot and his mommy and daddy. :)

Uncle Brad finally gets to meet Baby Elliot.

I love how new babies can sleep through just anything!

The start of a wonderful uncle/nephew relationship. :)

E makes the cutest "waking up" faces!!

Precious boy!

So glad we now have a boy in the family! And so happy for my sister and Bry. They are already just wonderful parents. :)