Water Bottle... and Thoughts.

These pictures kind of crack me up because they are so representative of how very TWO Nora is! I was playing around with my camera and the light at the beach house where my brother and sister-in-law were staying this week, and just kept snapping as she was so cute with the bottle in her little 2-year-old hands!

 I don't think she's ever been allowed to drink from a water bottle like this before. She was really enthralled with the novelty of it.

 I showed her how to screw the cap off (maybe I'll regret teaching her...) and she was absolutely fascinated with this new skill!

 She tried over and over and over.

 And was so pleased with herself when she got it to work!

She is so cute I just want to eat her all up sometimes. :)

We've had a few decidedly not-so-cute moments recently with some toilet training regression. But we're working hard on giving lots of recognition and attention for staying dry and clean, and we've let her know that when she is a big enough girl to be consistently dry, that she will get to have a Big Girl Bed- something we've been planning on putting together but just haven't gotten around to doing- she is so excited (3 completely dry days this week!)! She can tell you if you ask her what we're working toward that she's going to get a big girl bed. I know she's ready... but it sure does make me wistful to think of not having an occupant for our crib! Plus, since it's a drop side, we can't even give it away or use it for a as-yet-unexpected additional child! It makes me sad to think of that bed on the side of the road for the garbage truck. :( So many of my favorite memories feature sweet little baby rumps pushed high up in the air in that absurd sleeping posture that toddlers have when they start sleeping on their tummies! Ouch! I'm sooo not ready to leave the baby stage... and yet- whether I like it or not, it is passing... and a new stage for our family is beginning. There are lots of good things about where we're going... but maybe I'll permit myself to shed a few tears about what we're leaving behind. I miss having a baby in our house! [and no, if you have an extra one, I don't really want to borrow yours... unfortunately, that doesn't really help- I want my OWN baby! 

I think I am moving into a more healthy place with the desire; no longer angry about it, and really not even dominantly jealous of the (many) people in my life who are being blessed in this way... just wistful, and a little sad. I called the REI's (reproductive endocrinology/infertility specialist) office this week and have a plan for the steps we need to take to be seen, evaluated, and hopefully treated. I know that many people have also walked in this journey, and sat in offices like that, and dealt with the hormones and the anticipation, anxiety, and disappointments that are just part of the process of assisted reproduction... I just kind of wish I didn't have to be one of them! But at this point, I know that this is the next step for us, and I do have peace about pursuing interventions that hopefully will result in another mouth to feed and a new occupant for a new crib- and hopefully at some point I will have my own ultrasound pictures to share again- ones that don't just show black spaces in my body (seriously, I feel like there have been SO MANY ultrasound photos on Facebook lately (no offense to those of you wonderful people who have been posting them- I love you all and I'm glad for your happiness!)- I wanted to post my ultrasound photos of my follicular scan I had a couple weeks ago just to be part of the party- lol- but I think people might have gotten the wrong idea...)

Tonight we had a Bible study at our house- we're working through Beth Moore's Esther series on Sunday night this summer- it's been a great, intimate group, and I'm always so glad when we have it. There's always something that seems to really stick with me from the video. Tonight it was the very last few minutes that really captured me. I won't say it as well as Beth says it, but she was talking about the Bible verse that says something like "those who wait on the Lord will renew their strength; they will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not faint." And she wondered aloud why it is that sometimes when we're asked to wait, it's anything but a renewing experience. And then she said that the reason that we rarely feel renewed when we're waiting is that we are not really waiting on the Lord; we are waiting on a thing or an event or something that we desire to happen. I've been "waiting on" a baby that has not materialized for the past year. But I don't know that I really have been waiting on the Lord. I'm going into the "hard week" this week. More than likely, I will be reminded again, that the answer for us is still "wait." I'm trying to brace myself, to be ready, but I'm truly dreading the disappointment. I need to remember that if I am waiting on the LORD, and NOT on the "elusive third child" (as I've lovingly called it)- He promises my strength will be renewed and I will have what I need to soar on wings, run and not grow weary, and walk and not faint. And so I will wait.

And while I wait, I will remember that I am not forgotten. That I am abundantly blessed. And I will kiss my big girls on their soft sweet cheeks, and enjoy a few more nights of seeing those cute butterfly crib bumpers before the big girl bed takes its place!

Blueberries

I have lots of pictures to unload... and I've been suffering through The Plague this week. Some kind of summer cold has settled in my chest and in between working multiple jobs and having family in town... I've been BUSY!

Last Saturday we went to pick blueberries...

 Sisters in the wagon.

 Love the braids.

 Tongue.

 Reach

 Look

 Gulp

 Back of head... many others like this.

 With Ammy

 With Nora

 Tired of picking, sitting in the wagon to eat.

 From where I was standing... the bucket full of blueberries!

 Helping.

 Hello little blueberry!

 Silly face!

 So cute!

 Closeup on the berry.

 Oops... should have visited the port a potty.

 Ammy and her girls. We missed Elliot!

 A bucket full of blueberries.

 Back in the wagon,

 Checking out the catch.

 Love these candid shots. :)

And love these girls. And we loved these blueberries! :)

Beach House Pictures

Nana and Papa have moved into the "beach house" at Lake Michigan for the next few weeks, and we've already been out a couple of times to enjoy this beautiful place with them- the weather this week is SO HOT- it's a really nice place to be. :) Here are some pictures of the girls at the beach- the reason they are mostly of Nora is because Nora is the only one who does not run away when she sees the camera. :)

Walking down through the dune grasses toward the beach.

 Little toes in the sand.

 Surveying the beach the first day- not sure what to think.

 What's going on here, Mom?

 Oh! Water! :) You can see Carolyn in the background, who is not afraid of the lake this year and made a beeline for the water the instant we got down to the beach the first night. :)

 Running out of the water and back to the sand. They expend a lot of energy when we go to the beach. :)

 I especially like this picture- somehow representative of our time at the beach with all the toys scattered everywhere and both girls absorbed in playing.

 Obligatory sand-in-the-hand shot. :)

There are some perks to being only about 25 pounds at 2 and 1/2! Daddy can swing Nora all around!

She loved it!

The second night we visited the beach, Carolyn and I went swimming together. There is a big sand bar not far from the shore where the water's only about a foot deep, and it's no more than about 40 inches deep at the deepest between the shore and the sand bar, so Carolyn had fun swimming out to it and riding the waves back. 

Nora watched us with interest and great concern that we come back. :)

 The beach might be Mommy and Daddy's favorite attraction at the beach house... but hands down, the girls' favorite part is the little bedroom upstairs that has two small twin beds in it. They played upstairs the last time we were there for over an hour- playing "house." There must be something about beds in a different person's house that makes it especially exciting! :)

We're planning a "slumber party" for later in the summer because they both keep begging to go to sleep there!

Why

A lot of you have asked me what finally made me take the step of privatizing my blog. I've really been meaning to do it for months, and known that I really should- simply because it's a scary world we live in, and so much of our family is just "out there" with this blog. I'm a little irritated with Blogger because it will only allow 100 readers, and we have more friends and family than that who would probably like to read it as a way of keeping in touch with us... but truthfully, we really can't be too careful with our personal information. Especially a blog like this- I share so much of my heart and emotions and self and stuff here that it would be ridiculously easy for a creepy person to use that for bad purposes.

We met a person of that sort recently. We call him "Creepy Charles." I will spare you the long story that really isn't all that interesting- but a man stopped by our house a couple of months ago to look at my sister's car that had basically died in our driveway... he was interested in the car but didn't want to pay as much as she wanted to sell it for. A couple months passed and the car was still sitting in the driveway, and it just sort of became more work than we wanted to deal with, so my sister decided to sell the car to CC- who didn't seem quite so creepy until he started asking questions like "are you married" to a woman quite obviously almost 20 years younger!

Somewhere in the middle of the transaction, we learned that Creepy Charles is actually a sex offender who was just released from parole- moreover, he has an extensive criminal record (mostly from the 1980s) of theft, including one count of breaking and entering.

So, all in all, we decided that beefing up the security of our home and our family was in order- not just because of the creepiness of Charles, but because he was a stark reminder of the ugliness of the world we live in... and it's more important now than ever to safeguard what you can.

I did struggle with the decision to privatize the blog- that was a big part of the reason I didn't do it for so long... I really like connecting with people I don't know in real life- coming together on issues like motherhood, and learning to trust God with our lives- that so many people encounter. I have met "friends" on this blog that I value quite as much as many people who are in my personal face-to-face life. And let's face it- I once had a dream of being a "famous blogger." Sometimes it made me feel like the struggles I have had, especially over the past year, have been more worth it because they've helped encourage others going through the same things. And now I'm a bit sad because my blog must be restricted to 100 viewers or less... but all in all, my family is more important, and I am glad to have taken this step.

So welcome to the now-private world of my blog... I hope to continue writing here simply because I love to have a record of my thoughts and of this wonderful, joyful, fun, challenging season of life!

Private

Due to some creepy things that have been happening in our neighborhood this week, I am going to be actually following through with making this blog private. If you got an email today or an invitation (or both; I'm still working on it...)- you're on my list. If not, please comment with your email address and I will add you to the list- I'm not intentionally excluding anyone! :)

The Beach is Open!

Nana and Papa moved into their beach house today on the lake, and we didn't waste any time before taking advantage of the private beach! I played around with the camera (like always :)) and thought this picture was cool with the sand in focus and the girls slightly blurry heading for the water...

I took a ton more pictures, but like always seems to happen when I actually have things to post... blogging seems to get pushed to the bottom of the list, and now I have so many pictures I'll never get through them all!

Zoo

Today I took Nora to the zoo for the morning. Carolyn has been at "zoo school" every day this week- it's a really fun day camp for kids; she's been going since the summer she was 3- but Nora's not old enough yet (I'm in no rush!)- so we took our own little tour today. Our zoo is nothing fancy (at all!)- but it's still fun to see the animals, and Nora had a great time.

She especially liked brushing the goats in the petting zoo area... I really didn't take any other pics, because we were just too busy having fun. :)

The day started with "naughty breakfast" (aka, donuts in the car on the way somewhere we are late to get to...)- Nora's face covered with icing made me laugh. Thankfully this place we like to get donuts at least doesn't dye the icing red, like they do at the grocery store!

 After awhile, our friends Madeline (the toddler) and Heather (her mom) joined us, and our littles enjoyed holding hands together. :)

 Aren't they cute?

 When it was time, we picked up our big girls- Carolyn and Rachel had a wonderful time playing together at zoo school this week! :)

The Birthday- Overdue!

This post is totally overdue... but I went out of town for a few days and was away from the picture files to post! 

In case you've not heard, we had a BIRTHDAY in our house last week! Carolyn (unbelievably!) turned FIVE years old!!

Birthday Morning turned out to be an opportunity for improvising, as Brad ended up being on "day call" for his group, and got called at 6:58am to do a c-section, right as I was getting ready to make the Birthday Muffins for the Birthday Morning Celebration and Gift Opening...

 It required a bit of quick thinking (after I got done sulking :)) but we just moved the celebration to Brad's office, and he intersected us there after the section was done... and there were just a few more voices to "Happy Birthday." :)

 The Blowy Face.

 She was SO excited about her presents this year! At some point I will have to scan in the letter and picture she wrote to the "Birthday Fairies-" after several days of being asked for everything under the sun- I told her to write her requests to the Birthday Fairies and they would see that she was taken care of. :)

 And she did get exactly what she wanted- A "Lizzie" doll (Lizzie is the human character from the famed Tinkerbell and the Great Fairy Rescue that is a great favorite around here :))

 After breakfast, we dropped Nora off to spend the morning with a friend, and Carolyn and I went to the obnoxiously brightly-colored Build A Bear store in the mall (we'll never be able to walk past it again without an argument... sigh... at least I made it 5 years before she knew what that store was!)- and "made" a bear together for her birthday.

 You may notice it is exactly the same as Carolyn's best friend Olivia's bear... I could not get her to select a different dress or bear... they're not much into individual preferences at this age! Olivia joined us after the bear making time, and I let the girls take their bears to the play area (aka germ factory) at the mall.

 And we went on the Carousel together.

 Here is a closeup of Carolyn's bear- interestingly, christened "Rapunzel." :) but more often simply called "My Build-A-Bear."

 After an afternoon that included naps for my girls and a crazed last-minute preparation frenzy for me (WHY, oh WHY did I plan a birthday party on a day crammed with so much other stuff and on which I arranged for no one to help me set up!!)- we had Carolyn's birthday party that evening at our YMCA. THAT was a great move... it was a perfect venue for a party; they had tables all set up for us, and I could leave the kiddos in the "Kid Zone" while I did the final setup, so it worked out well.

 My favorite thing was the play crowns I ordered for the occasion from an EtsyKids teammate, Katrina from The Felted Kitten. [as a side note, I have loved being part of the EtsyKids Etsy "street team" of makers and purveyors of unique and handmade children's items- it was so fun to be able to support another teammate, and if you ever have an occasion for which you would need super cute make-your-own felt crowns, The Felted Kitten is the place to go! Also, I just love her name!] The crowns came with sparkly "jewels" to glue on and each kid got to decorate her own crown, which she took home as a party favor. It was a cute project for the kids and perfect for their ages. :)

 Nora even got to do one with a little help from Auntie Laura.

 We had cupcakes with Tinkerbell toppers (chosen by Carolyn).
 Yet another "blowy face" and Brad practicing in the background.

 All the girls before gift time... and then swim time. But since the pictures of swim time include me in a bathing suit, they do not make the blog cut. :)

 And here's the birthday princess in her Rapunzel dress and personalized crown!

Happy fifth birthday, Carolyn! Enjoy being FIVE! It's a GREAT age. I wish you weren't already talking about wanting to be six! Isn't it one of the crazy things about life that just when it really is the best, you're always seeming to want to get on with it already?!