Clouds

We came home from our trip today.

These pictures are actually pretty cool, I think.

This was by far the best part of our trip today. About the only part I really enjoyed.

You see, despite the breathtaking views... I really hate flying. I especially hate the turbulence that makes the plane feel like it's going to turn over in circles and go crashing to the ground. I hate the boxed in feeling. I hate the totally out of control feeling because you are stuck in this flying tin can up in the sky and it sometimes feels so flimsy that... I'm afraid I'm going to be sucked out (well, not really; that was a reference to "Hook," but I am afraid that the plane will spin out of control and crash!)

It was an especially bad day for turbulence today... but at least it was also an exceptionally good day for window pictures. And thank goodness, we are HOME  now. And no more plans to travel for awhile!!

Legacy

Today as the whole crew of 25-ish of us were scurrying around getting ready to get in cars to go to church (most of us) or reluctantly head for home (a few), I took a few minutes to really consider what a unique, special thing we've got as a family. We rarely see each other anymore since we live our busy lives in such different places... but whenever we do have the great blessing of being all together, it is a huge celebration of love and fellowship (and food, of course!) New members of the family have been added since the last Thanksgiving we celebrated all together (no one can exactly remember when that was, but at least 10 years ago!), and one precious cornerstone family member is no longer with us physically. The last time we gathered together, it was to celebrate the life of the remarkable woman in the picture above, and to join the angels in heaven to sing of a life well lived and her rebirth into the land of promise through the shed blood of the Christ who led her life, from youth unto old age.

This time we gathered without her. Her daughters and granddaughters picked up the burden of the cooking and preparation for all the company. Her sons, sons-in-law and grandsons manned the grill and supervised the electronics. And yet not a moment of this time was really without her presence. My Granny would have loved nothing more than this convergence of family. And I hope that part of the joy of heaven is having the windows opened sometimes so that some of the joy of earth wafts up to make that perfect joy even more beautiful. I hope she would have been pleased with what she saw.

Each and every person who's been here has been profoundly affected in some way by the man and the woman in that picture. Over 60 years ago, my Granny and Papa spoke their solemn vows to one another before God and many witnesses... they tossed the bouquets and cut the cakes and, beaming fit to burst, began a new life together filled with promise. And the God they gave their lives to serve was faithful. He cared for them through the small and big crises of life, and they demonstrated their trust in Him through every step of the road laid before them. The little ones growing up at their knees gained a sense of wht it means to believe, to hold fast to what is true, and to live lives of integrity and fidelity. They in turn passed those life lessons on to their children, and now my generation attempts to tell the "old old story" to our own little ones. The legacy of faith begun with the union of my grandmother and grandfather goes on, lives on, grows on, in the hearts of young ones who will probably never even remember the Granny and Papa I knew. But great will be the reward, one day, for their faithfulness, both to each other, and to the Lord they truly lived to please. What a tremendous legacy, for which I am so grateful.

Thanksgiving

We're enjoying the very RARE occurrence of our WHOLE extended family being together! I still can't totally believe we're really here. :) But it's so nice to be together. What a fun time! 

The first day the boys played an impromptu game of football outside. The big kids (Peyton and Carolyn) really wanted to play along, but we discovered shortly after this picture that there are fire ants in the yard and we brought them inside.

Nora and Oooh-ey wanted to play outside too, too.

They were really dismayed to be brought back in on account of the fire ants. I think Nora's melodramatic tantrums are so funny.

Carolyn and my cousin Kat. :)

Nora and Ammy.

My precious nephew Elliot, who's at one of my favorite baby stages!! He's 4 months old, happy, chubby, and so sweet.

Nora really enjoyed the turkey frosted brownie from Aunt Erica. :)

Today we went to the place were my Papa is living now. It's a super great place and I think I might want to move there when I get old. :) They have a pool room, and Uncle Jack really wanted to coach Carolyn and Papa through a game of pool. :)

Nora and Ooh-ey stood at the door and tried to get inside.

This is my wonderful Papa, someone I look up to and admire immensely. There's a hole in our family because we miss our Granny, who went to heaven two years ago. But we all know that there's great hope, even in death, and though we miss her terribly, and it never feels quite right to be all together without her here, we know we'll see her again someday, and for now, it's fun to just love on Papa.

Brad got to feed Elliot. :)

The Bean's been pretty tired today and quite snuggly! Bonus for me! ;)

Rescue

Sometimes parenting involves intentionally allowing your child to experience being left in awkward and uncomfortable positions so they can learn how to cope on their own. And other times, being the parent means being the rescuer, swooping in to scoop that little child out of a situation that's just too big for her. Sometimes it's hard to know whether to be the knight in shining armor or the tough coach that knows there's just a little bit between good and great. Today I opted for the knight in shining armor... and what resulted was a totally unexpected opportunity to show love to my daughter, to reinforce in her sweet little heart that Mommy loves her the world, and will never allow her to be tested beyond what she can bear.

Let me say how much I LOVE our daycare center. From the director on down, this place is comprised of energetic, intelligent, compassionate, caring, wonderful people who habitually do more than is required to keep children safe. They give their creativity, ingenuity, and love to help the little ones in their care to grow up to realize their limitless potential. I love Appletree!! But today I didn't leave Carolyn there as I'd intended to do, not because I thought she would be hurt, but because I simply felt that the task was too great for her where she is right now in terms of emotional maturity. I tried to leave her because I had to get ready for our upcoming trip and I had a bunch of orders to finish up... but after about 5 or 10 minutes of hearing her piteously cry as though I'd left her in the midst of a pond of hungry alligators... I just couldn't take it. Nothing I "had" to do was as important as giving Carolyn that "way out." It was a tough thing to ask her to do- she only goes to Appletree once every couple of months now, so it's not in her normal weekly routine anymore- and she truly believes that if I send her to Appletree that she is missing her beloved "preschool." Plus she's a little shy when she's in unfamiliar situations, and she really needs to know someone to feel comfortable. I can imagine how I'd feel if I got dropped into a room full of people I barely knew and then had to spend the whole day with them, and if nobody even came up to say hi, I'd probably just wish the floor would swallow me up. Wait, I think that might have been a nightmare I've actually had...

But anyway, I took her home and told her that I was going to have to do the work I was supposed to be doing today... and she responded with all these things she was going to do to entertain herself. And I was totally SHOCKED. She actually DID entertain herself, with minimal intervention from me- absolutely no whining or even very many requests. For about 3 hours in the morning she kept herself busy and happy; we visited each other from time to time, but overall, she played by herself better than I'd even imagined she was capable of doing! It was totally amazing. And best of all was when she came up to me and hugged me tight and said "I love you, Mommy," and I knew that this time, that "I love you" meant a bit more than it had before- because now it was an "I love you" that spoke from the security of knowing that Mommy's love is there to protect me.

Little Successes

I've been a little emotional this week... it's my "bad" week- and if you need to ask what that means, just don't go there... you don't really want to know the details. Suffice it to say I just feel emotional, and bummed out again... and like my children keep shooting up before me- daily taking steps toward leaving me (a long time from now, yes, but getting closer every day). I shed tears today putting away baby clothes that I'm not sure I'll ever get to use again... looking at my "baby" who isn't one anymore, and seeing how even she, little pixie child that she is, actually has grown a lot lately- I've actually hauled out the 24 mos/2T clothes to hang in her closet now, and the 18 months clothes I thought we were going to stick in forever (like the 12 month size lasted about 8 months!) are already beginning to be outgrown (except never in the waist... she is still such a skinny little thing). And Carolyn especially has really just blossomed this fall in her independence. She's always wanted to do things by herself, but lately I've been finding myself doing a double take when I realize that she really is capable of handling freedoms that would have been much too much just a few months ago. She really loves being given responsibility and the respect she feels when we back off a little and let her make her own choices even about something as simple as adding pepper to her dinner seem to make her shine. I think this is the golden difference between a child taking freedoms (even "age appropriate" ones) versus a parent lovingly granting the same child the same freedoms. Rather than the freedom resulting from an autonomous decision on the child's part, the release of that same freedom coming from the wisdom and love of the parent keeps the line of authority unbroken in the family, and even in a subtle way, serves as a reminder to the child that she is part of a greater unit.

But I wasn't really going to talk about all that in this post. For some reason I haven't been taking many pictures lately (except of bows... and everyone around me is SICK of hearing me talk about them!), so I just have a few of those little successes that make even an emotional, kind of grouchy day, a good one- at least from the perspective of the little ankle biters. :)

Today I had two brain waves. They are stunning. Amazing. Totally something you'll want to copy... Okay, something you'll read because I blog and that somehow makes me awesome.  Here is what I did.

Scenario One: an extra dozen eggs in the fridge, long past the expiration date. What to do with them? Brainwave! I sat Carolyn down at the kitchen table with the eggs and helped her crack them one by one into a bowl... and after about the first 10, she really got the hang of it! Cracking eggs is her favorite part of baking cookies (except eating the batter of course) and she was thrilled to get to do it to her heart's content... so I don't suppose the eggs turned out to be a total waste at all.

Scenario Two: the Dead Zone in the afternoon. Post naps, pre dinner, time when there's plenty of housework around to do and essentially no motivation to get moving on it... it's too early to bust out a movie... Today I had a plan. On an impulse a few days ago I bought a tube of those little glow sticks at Michaels for $1. And so this afternoon, the girls and I closed ourselves in the closet under the stairs and lit them all up, and made necklaces and bracelets and tiaras, and had a general party. Nora and I lost interest after about half an hour... but Carolyn kept at it for over an hour! This was an excellent way to spend a dollar, and an hour with my children. :) I will be going back to Michael's for more to add to my "snowy day" box.

Memories

Sometimes the days can seem so long. But the time is so short. Sometimes I feel like I'm being pulled in a hundred different directions with the constant "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy..." But there's no other title that means more to me. I want to remember these days... I want to remember...
-watching Carolyn go down the big slide at the indoor play world tonight with a huge grin on her face and her hair blowing back all crazy and beautiful.
-how Nora's little body snuggled right into me tonight while I gave her nebulizer treatment and we watched some totally inane baby "snugglebye" show on Comcast On Demand
-how Carolyn asked me to carry her to bed and I realized that she's almost half my size already.
-how Nora was totally thrilled to be able to recognize all the different colors of balls in the ball pit tonight. She was so proud of herself, and already likes the pink ones best
-how both girls seemed more free with their hugs today, as if they knew I just needed to hold my babies today. [not because of anything serious or alarming in my life; it was just one of those emotional days.]

Under the Weather

Poor Nora's not been feeling great this week... actually, she seems to have gone from one thing to another the past few weeks... stomach flu, ear infection, now some sort of chest cold/snot/wheezy thing. We have her on the albuterol nebulizers and that seems to be helping her feel better. But she still doesn't seem to feel good- this was blanket time today!

Thankfully, she took a 3 hour nap this afternoon, and seemed to feel better this evening, so hopefully we're on the upswing... since we're going to Texas (Austin) for Thanksgiving! :)

Bears

In a stunningly brilliant parenting move, I allowed my children to eat gummy bears an hour before dinner. :) It was worth it to see them enjoy something so much- and to see the look of shock on Carolyn's face when I actually said YES to her request! :) Side note: don't you LOVE this new sweater that I bought for her with my bow money? :) I wish it came in my size because I would totally wear that.

Nora was the funniest about the bears. She was very serious about eating them. Carolyn is old enough to know a bit of restraint and to be able to savor the enjoyment. Nora just stuffed her face.

Even when her mouth was already full...

She kept shoveling them in.

And then she stood up on her chair to gaze over at Carolyn's dwindling pile, wanting to have some of those- even though she'd eaten more than either of the other two of us simply because she had me so amused with her frenzied devouring. :)

Too Fast

These kids, they seriously grow up too fast!! This week we officially moved Carolyn into a "big girl car seat." She loves it because it has princesses and ballerinas and fairies on it. And I finally resigned myself to her being ready for it when we realized her head came way up over the top of her convertible car seat, so even though she's still light enough for it... it really wasn't safe. So far, though, it's been really nice to have her in a booster seat because she can get herself out of it- though her arms aren't quite long enough to buckle her own self in yet, they will be soon. :)

But I'm really not ready for her to occupy this seat yet! We were bringing in our haul from Costco the other day when she climbed into the driver's seat and put on my "driving glasses." I haven't quite resigned myself to my eyes yet. I'll admit I need the glasses when I'm driving (because it's really nice to be able to see the signs...), but while they look cute on Carolyn, I just don't like them on myself- even though I know I'd probably have fewer headaches if I just gave in and went to the eye doctor for contacts! :)

Busy Busy!

I feel like I might be dropping off the face of the earth for awhile... with the combination of the holidays, a growing Facebook "fan" community, and a free shipping special I offered over the weekend, I had a whole flood of orders in the past few days! It's great, and I feel really jazzed to see my business starting to take off, but a little overwhelmed at the same time. I have A LOT to do this week. I want to do a good job for these clients and make them really like my stuff. I take a lot of pride in what I do and want it to be excellent. But at the moment I'm feeling pretty much stretched to the limit of what I can physically do!! So if I'm not a great blogger for awhile here... that's why!

Piano

Tonight we're visiting Ammy and Papa... the piano was a big hit. :)

Family Night

Tonight we had a much needed low-key family night. We caved and bought Toy Story 3 because they were out of the rentals at Blockbuster and we sort of had our hearts set on seeing it... it wasn't a horrible deal, though it would have been a little cheaper on Amazon... sigh...

It was worth it to sit together on the couch and munch popcorn and just be together. It's been a really busy week with the craft show today (which went significantly better than either of the other two I have done; I still think I'll stick with online sales- and maybe start doing a few "bow parties" at friends' houses in the new year), and all the emotion of having a good friend dealing with something as serious as what's going on with my friend's son Isaac (he is doing very well, though, and she is feeling uplifted by all of the prayer and support, so that is good). We just needed some time together, and so I'm glad we could have it.

Something about having a renewed sense of the fragility and preciousness of life makes me appreciate these sweet girls even more than I usually do. It's possible I allowed Carolyn to set precedent by dancing on the coffee table simply because I thought she was cute.

It wasn't long before she was joined by her sister (and the Ooh-ey)

I think Ooh-ey is Nora's favorite person in the family. She would like it (and preferably "they" as she has now discovered that there are more than one...) to come everywhere with us. I think her special relationship with this guy is very cute- she likes to feed it, put it to bed, and talk to it when she thinks we're not watching. :)

Shaken

A close friend of mine found out today that her son (18 months old) has leukemia. She is the third person I've been connected with in the past few months that has had this same news. It all feels so very close to home right now, and I feel shaken at the sudden reminder that as much as we think we have control over the events and course of our lives, we really do not. Today's events haven't changed reality- I really never did have any assurance that  bad things wouldn't happen- but the cloud of illusion has been abruptly and painfully lifted as I'm now watching a dear friend wrestle with this sudden valley in her life. Would you please join me in prayer for Linda and Jacob and their son Isaac (and also their daughters Laney (3) and Gabby (4 weeks old)). Linda is a blogger too, and when she feels up to it, she will be updating her blog at http://quistnshout.xanga.com/ .

Going Under Again

It's another one of "those weeks." Big craft show Saturday. 1000 projects started. Gigantic mess in my craft room (aka secret lab)... too much to do, not enough time to get it all done... time to work feverishly every spare second I have... only to find that on Saturday, no one will come to the show. That seems to be the normal manner of things, at least in my experience- I don't really like all the sitting around. BUT, the upside is that I have made some really AWESOME things in the process of preparing for this show and the ones I've done before, and they look really great!! With or without great craft show success, my little business is blooming. And that makes me happy because I cherish the hours spent in that little room letting my long-suppressed artistic self run wild.

I made these today, and they made me feel happy. I think I would put them in my hair if I was wearing something that matched. :) And that's kinda what I'm going for. Some styles that can cross over between big girls and mamas. :)

Fun, and Not So Fun

Yesterday our flight didn't leave out of Jacksonville (about 2.5 hours south of Nana and Papa's house) until about 4pm and the whole crew was up early due to the time change, so we busted out in the morning for a quick hour at the beach before cooping up the kids for the long journey home.  It was the best part of the whole day- and would have been the best part even of a much better day than one spent in airports, planes, and cars! The weather was beautiful, and the ocean is so magical and wonderful. 

There's just something about the ocean that brings out the child in me. I took a few pictures of Carolyn dancing in the shallow water and playing in the waves... but then I just joined her and had a ball looking like a nutcase. :)

The water was really quite warm for November, and the sand was so soft... and my girls are so beautiful that they take my breath away sometimes.

Nana and Nora had a lovely time playing in the sand.

Later I brought Nora a bucket of bubbles I caught on the surface of the water... possibly pollution (hopefully not!)- but I thought they were just the product of the waves on the shoreline and the tide coming in... guess time will tell... but we washed her hands pretty thoroughly after we were done, and she really did have a wonderful time playing in the bubbles.

Her toddler enthusiasm and wonder is so fun to watch!

It took me several shots to catch this look on her face, but I'm glad she did- every time she reached into the bucket for more bubbles, she made this "oohhhhh!" face!

Finally it was time to go (if anyone knows how to photoshop the lady in the background out, let me know! the picture would look so much prettier without her)- it was a good thing I brought some more clothes for the girls! They were all wet!

After a much-enjoyed lunch from Chik Fil A, it was almost time to go, but I fulfilled my promise to Carolyn and we went out to the dock to look at the water at high tide. I like this picture of my 3 favorite people all peering over the edge of the dock. Thankfully, no one fell in. :)

Then it was time to go. We drove to Jacksonville and boarded our flight to Baltimore, where we ended up sitting for over 5 hours waiting for a late connection. Thankfully, they had a Potbelly's!

We made a huge mess devouring our dinner... well, some of us ate.

Carolyn enjoyed her PBJ sandwich (minus the J)

Nora was too busy working on the three poopy diapers she had in the span of time we were at the airport! Even with as much as I overpack for trips like this, we were down to just one more diaper after the final one! 

The rest of the evening wasn't really picture worthy (if indeed you can even say that the first part of it was!) Our flight kept getting delayed and moved... we camped out at the gate and thanked goodness for the laptop and the DVDs we brought. I tried to walk Nora around in the stroller but due to Poopy #3 never did get her to go to sleep. Finally at nearly 11pm they drifted off once the plane got in the air. We finally got home exhausted after 1am. Today it was SO GOOD to be home! Even in my messy house and too many loads of laundry to keep up with and all the CLUTTER CLUTTER CLUTTER. I happily worked on orders all afternoon, and I'm actually looking forward to my next craft show on Saturday. :) 

And now I have officially finished blogging my trip. If you want to see more pics, you can see my Facebook album. :)

Porch Pictures

Lighting in our other series of pictures being a bit brighter than ideal, with the consequently shadowed faces, we decided we needed to attempt a retake of the family portrait. The Porch had the best light, we thought, so that's where we did it. Overall, a success... though not in every picture. :)

Doug, Katy, Emily, and Jake. A cute picture. I believe this is when the adults started to do the chicken dance behind the camera.

Our little family. The Chicken Dance had evidently become somewhat less funny at this point.

Nana and Papa and the Grands.

Beloved Uncle Kerry with the nieces and nephew. He's amazing. Never had the chance to be a dad, he has doted on his nephews, and now their children. This time Uncle Kerry brought the brand new Knuffle Bunny Free (the third in the wonderful Knuffle Bunny series) book for the big girls- along with their very own KNUFFLE BUNNIES! The little guys got a sock monkey and accompanying book- which was just perfect for Nora, who LOOOOOVES all things "monkey." Even as wretched as she has been feeling at moments the past couple days, she is still thrilled with her monkey, and even allows it to share the bed with her and the "ooo-ey" (Lovey).

The cousins. They got along amazingly well. Carolyn and Emily seem to have the kind of friendship that is immediately struck up anew even after long absences. They played together so well the whole time we were here. I felt like I hardly saw Carolyn all weekend, she was so happy and busy playing with Emily! Jake and Nora don't share too many of the same interests (he is all about TRUCKS), but they managed to play nicely together also.

Great time had by all. Never seems like long enough when we do it, and always seems like too long until the next time we'll all be together again. But it really was a great time. :) Thanks Nana and Papa for being married for 40 years so we have an excuse to do this!! It's a great reason to celebrate. :)