A Banner Day

Well, at least it started out that way. Baby Nora slept for a 5-hour stretch last night, then went right back to sleep again after feeding, so it was a (relatively) restful night, and I woke up feeling ready for the day. I went to my MOPS group this morning for the first time since Nora's been here and several people commented that I looked really "together" for having a less-than-three-week-old baby. I'll admit that I was patting myself a bit on the back for having both girls dressed and fed and even ON TIME! My sweet baby slept cozily through the entire session and even the toddler behaved pretty well in the nursery. Oh yes, but pride does indeed go before a fall... I wish those friendly ladies could have seen me a couple hours later in Meijer, when I looked ANYTHING BUT "together."

It was totally a rookie mistake. I've been around the block enough times with my toddler that I should KNOW BETTER than to take a trip to the grocery store around lunchtime. Baby Nora had slept so cozily through MOPS that she refused to wake up sufficiently to eat very well when it was "time" for her to eat... I knew at some point she would wake up and be ravenous... but STILL I decided to brave Meijer for the first time with both girls at 11:30am! STUPID STUPID STUPID! I've been dreading grocery shopping since Nora was born and have avoided it thus far... but now we were running out of diapers (again) and needed to stock up the cupboards and fridge so we could... EAT for the next week or so before I know I'll have to go AGAIN. So I went.

At first it was all right... Carolyn happily munched the trail mix I'd made for her (extra sweet to hopefully sweeten her up to the idea of riding in the cart through the store) and Nora snoozed (cozily) in her car seat and continued to look generally adorable. But it was somewhere about 75% through the shopping trip when the cart was packed to the gills around the car seat that things really started to come unglued. Carolyn tired of the trail mix and wanted to walk, but about five seconds after being released from the seat she wanted to stand in some precarious position on the cart and be pushed around for some extra thrills and adrenaline (Mommy wasn't in the mood to cater to her adventurous spirit; a trip to Meijer was bad enough; we didn't need a trip the ER as well). So back to the seat, then back out of the seat, and back in, and back out... you get the picture... about when I was starting to feel like the annoyance was going to cause a blood vessel somewhere in my body to burst, Nora woke up- and she WOKE UP.

She was absolutely hysterical in a way that only a hungry newborn can be. If I could have done it without getting kicked out of the store for indecent exposure (and possibly losing my job because I work there too) I would have fed her right there and then to stop that horrible, helpless cry that goes straight to my heart and activates some instinctual need to "fix it" that overrides every other brain function I have! Nora cried and cried and I began thinking about the quickest way to make an exit... I held her with one hand (since you can do that with a tiny baby) and pushed my overloaded cart with the other (and don't forget about my toddler who's amping up the WHINE about being stuck in the seat at this point)- and then ran in to some people who know me from work (not direct coworkers; they just saw me hugely pregnant)- and these people seemed to think that this moment with screaming newborn and whining toddler was the perfect time to strike up a conversation about how adorable said newborn is (I agree but like I said I was in physical pain by this point because of all the crying)- I'm sorry to say I was rather rude to them and continued to rush toward the checkout.

At checkout I ended up behind a very sweet lady with two girls and a cart even fuller than mine was. Something possessed me to let Carolyn loose at this point (bad idea)- so while we waited for the eternity it took for the other lady to check out, I was trying to get groceries on the belt with Nora still screaming in my arms and Carolyn being generally out of control and totally socially unacceptable... she kept trying to hug total strangers and attempted to steal an Eeyore sticker from another child... FINALLY, over a hundred dollars later (how DO I manage to spend that much EVERY TIME?!) I was finally done and ready to go but my stress hormones were totally THROUGH THE ROOF and I am pretty sure the people around me could see my hair starting to stand up straight. Something was about to blow...

And I totally lost it; we just all had a major meltdown right in the middle of the store. I had to physically force Carolyn to get back in the seatbelt and I'm sorry to say I wasn't as kind and gentle as I ought to have been. I was so angry and frustrated that I just didn't care in that moment whether there might have been a better way to encourage her to get in the cart (a bribe might have worked better). I did not hurt her but from the way she screamed in anger at being restrained it looked to all the world like I had grievously injured her! By the time I got to the car I expected CPS to meet me there!

My anger has always had the nature of a thunderstorm- loud and nasty for a moment but gone just as quickly... I always regret the things I say and do in the midst of a thunderstorm (and unfortunately I have found myself struggling with anger and irritation and being generally nasty a lot more since Nora came and my sleep took a major nosedive), but often those moments cause me to become more introspective and to consider how I can be better in the future. Today was a day I did NOT deserve a gold star for being a wonderful mom. But it was a day I could demonstrate to my daughter that mommies need grace sometimes, too. As I settled Carolyn down for her nap today, I took a moment to ask her how I'd made her feel and to tell her that I was sorry for being angry with her. I'm not sure how much she really understands at this age, but it is never wrong to apologize when you know you've behaved badly.

The great thing about grace is that by its very definition, it is something we don't deserve. And God must have known I'd need a little extra grace this afternoon because even after all that- ALL of us slept for 2 hours this afternoon AT THE SAME TIME! A miraculous event that has saved my sanity and enabled me to move on again, one step at a time. But next time I will let the cabinets go empty before I take two hungry children to Meijer again! Lesson learned there.

Hair

We thought that we'd never find a match for Carolyn's hair. Well, Nora's giving her a run for her money. Daddy brushed her hair after bathtime last night and it looks like we may have another puffy-haired kid on our hands. :)
Here's a picture of Carolyn all puffed up- this was when she was a couple weeks older than Nora is now. I LOVE hair on little babies! It makes them look so cute! :) Okay, maybe I'm a little biased because I think my babies are the cutest in the world- and I'd probably think so even if they were totally bald! :)

New Pictures

Here are some pictures from the last few days. I have about 50 that are all variations on this theme... Nora likes to make faces with her mouth open. :)
Another view
She's adorable from any viewpoint!
Sometimes Carolyn thinks I take too many pictures of Nora... so she'll actually look at the camera for a change!
Experimenting with a new way to hold baby sister....
Doesn't seem to matter how it starts- it ends the same way- big sister smothering little sister with love... I have to bite my tongue sometimes... don't suppose Nora can get too much love, even if some of Carolyn's expressions are a bit exuberant! We are working on being gentle...

Yesterday while Nora was napping, Carolyn and I took some time together to work on a "Poject." Carolyn wanted to use her watercolors as fingerpaints so I let her destroy an old set and she had a ball making this masterpiece. I like all the bright colors and the little spots made by her small fingers- this one is going in her "portfolio." :)
Today Carolyn had "school" so it was "Nora Day" at home (well, actually ended up being mostly Turbo Tax day, but I enjoyed my time with Nora much more than the time I had to spend on the taxes!) This is of course one of those fleeting gassy smiles, but it's a reminder of what her sweet face will look like in a few weeks when she can smile responsively! I love these moments I can take with each of my girls one-on-one and appreciate them all the more because of how rare it is that I can focus on just one of them without feeling like I'm cheating the other one.

Slideshow

Kasey got us our pictures back so quickly! Here is a slideshow of some of my favorites... it's hard to narrow it down at all! :) If you click on the pictures, you can see the slideshow in its own window. If you know someone who wants to have pictures like this taken, I would love it if we can steer some business Kasey's way- she has done a phenomenal job- and she's my friend, too. :)

Two Weeks Old!

It's hard to believe two weeks have passed so quickly!! Already it seems that Nora has been in our lives for so long, and at the same time, like she just arrived. She has grown and changed already from the tiny baby we were holding in our arms for the first time two weeks ago. I'm tired tonight, but I want her to have some record someday of what she was like at this age, and I'm sure I won't always remember, so I want to document it somewhere.
This is what she looks like most of the time- this girl knows how to SLEEP! She wakes up to eat regularly, but otherwise snoozes a lot of the day. She is typically awake for an hour or two mid- morning, then takes a long sleep (interrupted by feedings and diaper changes) for about 5 to 7 hours. Then she usually wakes up for awhile again in the evening after eating at around 9 or 10, and goes to sleep "for the night" around 11 or 12. I'm not really a "night person" so I've had to make some major changes in my schedule too! She is eating about every 2 to 3 hours during the day and every 3 to 4 hours at night. The nice thing is that she does like to go back to sleep after feedings at night, which Carolyn did not like to do. It saves my sanity to be able to go right back to bed after feeding her and snuggling for awhile... and I think it's helping me to be able to cope better with not getting as much sleep.
Nora is precious; we love having her in our family. I cherish the moments when I can just hold her close because I know how fleeting this special time is.

So Busy!

I really haven't had much time or energy for blogging; we have been so busy this week, and we are all adjusting to the big changes in our life and schedule! They are welcome changes, and come with many great joys, but it still takes some getting used to. I've taken lots of pictures, though, so here are a few pictures from the past few days.
We've been working on tummy time with Nora. She seems to tolerate it better than Carolyn did, but she still protests after awhile. She is growing stronger each day!
On Friday night, our friends Stephanie and Andy came over for some games and they brought Ella, their almost-4-year-old. It was amazing! Carolyn so enjoyed having an older child over- Ella has much more sophisticated playtime and social skills and she showed Carolyn all sorts of new ways to play with her toys.
We all laughed when we realized Ella was giving Carolyn a physical exam, complete with some sort of medication. I think it's funny that both girls use the syringe to give oral medication instead of using it for shots- I guess that's because that's how they see syringes used most of the time.
Nana enjoyed holding Nora and relaxing with her dog Buster. Between Nana to take care of Nora and Ella to take care of Carolyn, I was unexpectedly free from childcare duties for several hours in a row! It was a great break! :)
Nora still sleeps a lot, but she is starting to become so much more aware of things while she is awake. I think her face, especially when she's awake, is starting to take on more of its own character and she looks less like Carolyn the older she gets- though it is still uncanny how similar they do look!
We got out the playmat yesterday and let Nora kick around on it a little bit.
This was more complicated than when Carolyn was small, because Nora has a Big Sister. Whatever we get out for Baby Nora is suddenly So Cool to Carolyn and she had a hard time just letting Nora play (even though the whole reason I got the playmat out was so that I could have my hands free to read to Carolyn... we never made it to the couch... she was too enthralled with the playmat and I was too tied up trying to keep her from tackling Nora!)

Overall, Carolyn is adjusting well... there are moments when it's hard. It's hard for me to learn how to balance the expectations and needs of two little ones I love so much. My sleep has taken a major hit since Nora came, and I'm afraid I haven't been as patient as I wish I was. I wish I had the time or mental acuity to post about this because I've been thinking a lot about it and I know that writing about it would help me get my thoughts and emotions in order... but I don't have time and I'm to fuzzy at the end of a busy day to think clearly enough to write something coherent, so it'll have to wait.

Big and Little

Big Sister
Little Sister
Big Sister
Little Sister
Sisters Together...

For Ammy

My mom can't stand being even a couple hours away from such a quickly-changing baby! She insists that I post at least one picture from each day for her so she can keep up with how fast Baby Nora is growing. :) I'm an overachiever today- here are five pictures, Mom! :) Of course I'm no professional... but I do think my daughters are awfully cute! :)
Early tummy time...
First "real" bath went over really well... Big sister still loves to help. :)
Nora's hair is starting to puff up kind of like Carolyn's did at this age, especially after a bath!
The couple hours between about 8 and 10 are some of my favorite hours of the day- especially when Brad can be home! After Miss Carolyn is safely in bed for the night, we can spend this special time just focusing on Nora; there aren't very many other times of the day when we can really give our full attention to snuggling her!
Everyone says Nora looks so much like Carolyn did at the same age- I think it's got a lot to do with the mop of hair! But daily to me she seems to be taking on a look of her own, and though there's no denying they are sisters, she is starting to look less like a flashback to Carolyn and more like her own sweet self. :)

More!

I was so excited to see that Kasey posted more pictures from our photo session on Saturday! I am so glad that we got to have these special pictures taken. This brand new baby stage is sooo short- already Nora is different than she was even on Saturday- she changes every day at this point. I'm happy that these priceless photos preserve that newborn curl for us to remember forever- I just wish I'd had it done when Carolyn was small, too! Hope you enjoy the pictures- I can't wait to see the whole cd and book that we'll get in a couple weeks! It's a good thing I bought the cd with all the pictures because I know I'd never be able to narrow down these awesome pictures to just a few to print!

Imps

Today my friend Lenore and I went to a nursing support group at the hospital. I feel a lot more confident this time about feeding Nora, but I wanted to bring her just once to make sure that she is eating enough and gaining weight as she should. She was very sleepy and was more than willing to nap wherever she found herself- even all stripped down on the table! But she's back up to her birth weight at 6 pounds, 15 ounces, and I weighed her before and after I fed her, and she is doing just what she's supposed to do. So that makes me feel better. After the experience we had this afternoon, I doubt I'll be coming back to the group- at least not with my toddler in tow!
I just had to laugh today at how different life is from the last time I went to this group! Lenore, Christi, Heather and I all met at this same group when Caimon, Aidan, Rachel, and Carolyn were little babies. It was such an encouragement to us as we were all getting used to being moms for the first time and we are all still friends! There were several first-time moms there doing just the same thing we did 2 and 1/2 years ago. Those were such sweet days- and seem so comparatively uncomplicated now that I have two to deal with (and enjoy!) instead of just one!

I'm afraid that Caimon and Carolyn may have made those first-time mommies feel scared of what will happen when their sweet babies turn into impish two-year-olds! We set them up at the table with some washable markers, paper, and M&Ms... and got distracted weighing the little babies- and when we looked up, this is what we found:
It's a good thing the markers were washable and came right off the table. Both girls got reprimanded for defacing someone else's property and to their credit they did stop coloring on the table... but as their mommies hands were tied up with feeding baby sisters... they found something else naughty to occupy them and this was the finished product:
I probably shouldn't have laughed and taken pictures because it really was very naughty of them to color all over each others' faces... but when I thought about it, they really weren't hurting anyone or anyone else's property, and it did come right off... and it WAS funny, though I got quite a few strange looks walking out of the hospital with my war-painted toddler! I think I won't encourage her to do this again... but I got a good laugh out of it. :)

The Pro

Today I had another dream fulfilled... we got to have professional newborn pictures taken of Baby Nora! Kasey came again and just wowed me with how great she did with both girls. Nora was having a wide awake period when she got here, but she was so awesome and agreed to stick around for another hour so that we could get some sweet sleepy baby pictures, too. :) I've just seen these 12 pictures of the hundreds I am sure she took! I can't wait to see the rest, but I'm so excited that she gets the first few up so quickly so I can share them with you... no explanations needed; these pictures are beautiful- besides, the princess needs to eat!







okay a little explanation here... the winter hat with the tutu was carolyn's idea. :)