Gardening

Ever wonder what the exact expression is on Carolyn's face when she wants something? Well, this is it! :)
Yesterday we planted some flowers in our garden. I found an inexpensive little gardening set months ago and brought it out for her. She loved it! For a little girl whose first concern when she falls down is usually that her hands are dirty, she sure had a fun time with all that dirt!
She liked to dig it up in the spade and watch it fall.
She especially liked the watering can (wah-can).
She liked watering the ground near the flowers but didn't quite get the concept of watering ON the flowers. :)
She made a shhhhh sound as she poured the water out.
Inevitably the water was soon gone, and she was very intent on getting some more... she surely is my daughter- the intensity with which she wants something when she wants it and not a moment later rivals my own. :)
We're going away for the weekend to Traverse City with some friends of ours. Ammy and Papa are coming to stay with Carolyn for tonight through tomorrow night. It's only the second time we'll be away from her and even though I've done it before for much longer when we went on our cruise... I'm still a little nervous and I know I will miss her. But it will be good for Brad and I to get some good time just to be "us" and to enjoy some friends who are also taking a brief little visit back to pre-baby land. We will (hopefully) have fun, but we'll be excited at the same time to return because there really is no greater job in the world than the one God entrusts to parents. :)

Recent Pictures

It's been awhile since my last update... I worked all weekend Memorial Day weekend and I'm still trying to catch up on everything I missed while I was gone!

On Friday ALL of our little playgroup was finally together again! It's been awhile and there are a lot of changes coming up in our little group. We've all four of us (well eight really if you count the kids) been at the same place in life (and geographically) for the past two years and it has been so much fun to share this season of wonder and excitement of watching our firstborn children grow from itty bitty babies into these amazing, unique individuals, ready at the age of two to take on the world (at least they think they are)! Now it seems that life is taking us in different directions than we might have expected. I had sort of thought (hoped) we'd all be pregnant again at the same time and have our second children be the same age. It just didn't work out that way. As of now there's only one new baby on the way- Caimon will be a big sister in December. It's tough sometimes for me when I feel surrounded by pregnant women (I seriously am- today I counted 18 people that I know who are expecting- about 10 of whom conceived during these past months when we've been "trying!" It is hard not to be jealous, especially after the loss, but I am learning to accept God's role as Master Builder of our family "house" and it does ease the pain the more I focus on Him and not my circumstances). Even still, I am truly happy for Lenore; she is a great mom and having a brother or sister will bring so much to Caimon's life. Two others of us have been trying for some time now without success, and the other is getting ready to move to another city without really a whole lot of advance notice. It seems likely too that we will move next summer, so this will likely be our last West Michigan summer. :( [but the flip side to that is that it will also probably be our last winter, too!]

So it seems that our days together as we've known them are limited. It's bittersweet. I am thankful for these friends who have shared so much of this special part of life with me and Carolyn. I feel a special bond with all their kids because they have been such a big part of the backdrop of the past 2 years of watching Carolyn grow- a constant in a season of incredible change happening right before my eyes. I know that God brought them into my life for a reason- we've learned a lot from each other- and from watching each other's kids grow and realizing the true individuality of each child. All our kids are within 2 weeks of each other, but they really couldn't be more different- and that's okay! So we're looking forward to enjoying a few more golden weeks together. We're taking the kids for group pictures at Penney's on Friday, then going to the zoo the following Friday, and having a birthday party for all 4 on June 13. I'm sure that those of us who can will still get together, but it will never be quite the same without everyone there. :(

So we're relishing every minute we get together as friends. The kids had a great time at the park on Friday. Aidan is quite the little camera ham- he is so cute and smiles so big for the camera that I just can't help seeing him in almost every shot! :)
Here's a closeup of our little sweetums... wish I could bottle that complexion- I'd make a fortune!
Hello!
Peekaboo
Aren't they super cute?!
And this picture doesn't really fit with the park pictures but it was too cute not to post on the blog. Yesterday Garrett was over and I braved a trip to Costco with two toddlers in tow! Thank goodness for double seats in the shopping cart! :) They seemed to enjoy sitting next to each other- they kept trying to hug one another! So sweet! :)

Since January, Carolyn and I have been having a blast every Wednesday at our Kindermusik class. It's a special music class just for kids 18 months to 3 years old (and their mommies/daddies). Carolyn was the youngest kid in the class this semester- it was really cool to see her grow; I think she has really benefited from the structure and I've enjoyed the time to bond with her and have fun without having to plan it or put a production together. :) Last week Nana came with us to watch and take some pictures, and last night we had a special party to celebrate our last class of the semester and Brad got to come and see what we've been up to.

The first thing we do is sing the "Hello" song and as we greet everyone in the class, we do some kind of special motion (in this picture, rocking :))
Each class also has times for exploring different instruments.
And also a story time (Carolyn doesn't usually stay on the blanket for very long :))
The hardest part of every class is the "rocking song" where all the kids are supposed to be still and quiet and rock with their mommies and listen to the music. Invariably, Carolyn likes to shout very loudly during this part of the class. I've found that giving her something to play with (like my hair clip) keeps her occupied enough to stay socially acceptable :) though I still look forward to the day when she'll willingly choose to be cuddled- I'm told that this is coming as she gets a little older! :)
Our friend Rachel from playgroup also comes to our class. It's really fun to watch Rachel and Carolyn bond together and begin to play with one another.
They love to hold hands and giggle together! :) Something about seeing them play together this way makes them seem so much OLDER than they used to!! They are growing up so FAST!Here they are with Miss Lynette, our wonderful Kindermusik teacher. She does a phenomenal job. I'm so glad we've been able to do this- we'll definitely be back next fall when we start back up again.
We have too much fun to even think about quitting!

We're Home

We had a great time in Virginia visiting with friends and attempting to discover if this is a place where we could see ourselves settling in the future. I just finished writing a whole treatise on this over at our other blog so I won't bore you with the full spectrum of all my thoughts unless you want to read it (in which case, go over there). Suffice it to say that we really fell in love with Virginia and the greater DC area and are very excited to pursue the potential for living there!

Brad had two interviews on Monday in a smaller city called Fredericksburg, about 50 miles south of DC and about 50 miles north of Richmond. This is the main hospital in the area, Mary Washington Hospital. It's a lovely hospital with a higher level NICU and more deliveries and gyno business than the current amount of doctors can handle! Brad enjoyed meeting with both practices and while I should probably not post too many specifics in such a public format, we're excited to see how things pan out. No commitments have been made or are expected for many more months yet, but there are some very exciting opportunities in Fredericksburg. After Brad's interviews (I got to go spend the morning exploring the town on my own- minus Carolyn who had a much better time staying with Anne and Baby Grace that day!), the hospital arranged for a realtor to take us around the town for a community tour. He had a lot of great information and we learned a lot. We really like the area. As part of the tour, we went through a major Civil War battlefield that has now been taken over by the National Park Service. Here we are with a restored cannon and a huge tree in the background that was probably there when this battle was fought! Amazing!
Anyway, we had a great time, and while we still don't have any solid answers on where we should go or what Brad should do professionally, a spark has ignited in both of our hearts for this community and we are excited to see where God will take us! :)

Visiting Virginia

So we're up to our usual travels again. :) This weekend we're in Virginia with our good friends Anne and Chris Lograsso. We got to be friends in Phoenix and have stayed in contact for the past 3 years (blogs help!) and the minute we got here, it seemed like no time had passed at all since the last time we saw each other. Great friends are like that! We are having a wonderful time with them- and their beautiful daughter Grace. :)

The real purpose for this trip is more than social. For the past several months, both Brad and I have been really feeling an inner pull toward the Virginia area- we really can't explain it, but when we think about places to live, we get so excited about being in this area! So we are here, partly to catch up with friends and partly to get an idea of whether we might actually relocate to this area of the country when Brad's done with residency. It's exciting and scary at the same time. Brad has a couple of interviews on Monday with some practices in Fredericksburg- about an hour south of where Anne and Chris live in Springfield- a bit out of the city in a more loosely populated place, but with a big hospital and pretty close to a lot of history and cool things to do. So we'll see how that pans out. I get to go with him on Monday and Carolyn is staying here with Baby Grace for her nap- so I imagine there will be more to think about after Monday. Pray for us if you think about it that God's leading would be very clear. Sorry Michigan- I'm really rooting for Virginia! It is an awesome place!!

Last night we pulled out the strollers and WALKED to the park- and not a boring walk either, there were all kinds of beautiful big trees and a nice shady path. It was a lovely walk. I need to live close to a park like this someday.
Also, I hope very much that I will be able to have the great joy of being mommy to a 9-month-old again- they are so JOYFUL!

It's been fun to watch Brad and Chris together- Brad especially is too busy at work and with everything else we have going on to have much guy time, so it is really fun for him to have another guy to hang out with!
Here are our precious girls, having their after-breakfast story time.

Today it was lovely outside and we went to see Mount Vernon, the home of George Washington. It was so cool to be able to just drive 20 minutes and see something so fun! We didn't actually go inside the house because the 50 minute wait to get in the door, but we stood outside for a picture all together and went over to the working farm side of the estate so Carolyn could see the animals.

I love how these pictures of Carolyn came out. There was a lady spinning wool and while Carolyn didn't like the sheep (too noisy), she was fascinated by the wool spinning lady and the spinning wheel!
I think she should be in some of the promotional material for Mount Vernon she is so cute! :)

She also very much enjoyed peering over the fence at the sheep in the fields. They were not so noisy as the one that was being sheared in the barn area.
Our family. :) I was so glad to finally get a good family picture! It's been awhile!

Loving the New Camera

I'm really enjoying the pictures our new camera takes! Even without tremendous photography skills, the pictures come out so cool! The details seem sharper, the images so crisp and the colors so vibrant!
I love Carolyn's crazy hair in this picture.
We went to the zoo on Friday with Caimon and Rachel (Aidan couldn't come :() and don't those girls look cute all holding hands together? I love how they are starting to really interact more!
I love how the new camera captures the brightness of this pink!
And also manages to catch a quickly moving little girl without making the picture blurry!
There are so many beautiful things to take pictures of in the spring.
I love how I can focus on just the white flowers and let the purple ones fade into the background.
And, well, I just enjoy the look on Carolyn's face in this picture. :) She loves to "talk" on my phone.

Flowers

Our pastor and his wife sent these beautiful flowers last week. I so appreciated the gesture- even though our baby was very tiny when we lost it, it has meant a lot to me that so many friends have responded to us in a way that really honors the value of human life, no matter how small. On Saturday, we went to the nursery and bought this pretty mini rose bush to plant in our garden in honor of the little one we lost. I am glad to have a living thing that will grow and bloom and bring beauty and joy as we remember this experience, and also the grace of God that has sustained us as we've grieved the loss. We planted the new rose bush in the garden just in front of the forget-me-not- an appropriate place, I thought.
Thank you all for your sweet comments, email, phone calls, cards, etc. I won't lie and say that the past 2 weeks have been easy. We wanted that baby very much and it is hard for me to feel sort of trapped in a world that seems full of pregnant women and tiny babies. It's the season of life- most of our friends are either pregnant or "trying" and soon will be. I struggle a lot with comparison and being jealous because I don't understand why it wasn't "easy" to get pregnant in the first place, and then we ended up losing that little life so soon after it began. I have been told by others who have been here, that at some point when we are pregnant again and all is well, that even this hard thing will make more sense and that I'll be able to go places again without sort of dreading that someone ELSE is going to say they're expecting... But I'd like to sort of skip ahead to THAT point and not have to walk the dark and bumpy road to get there.

I know I can't skip this, and even if I could, it probably wouldn't be good for me... but it is hard to put one foot in front of the other and live through the jealousy, the sadness, the discomfort of unfulfilled longings. Thanks for praying for me!! I have sensed so much support from you all through this experience.

Spring Pictures

We've been planning to invest in a new camera for awhile now (thank you Uncle Sam for the "stimulus" payment) and we got it! It's good for me to have a new hobby to be interested in- gets my mind off other stuff. I love the pictures that this camera takes- even with a complete rookie pushing the buttons.

And I love all the new spring growth all around us.
This is my favorite color: this brilliant green just pulses with life. I've never been able to capture the exact color in a picture before.
Here are some of the tulips in our front yard.

We "escaped" home this weekend at went to Chicago to visit Michelle and Bryan. I just needed to be someplace other than our usual surroundings. So it was the perfect place to go. It was nice to have some other people around to distract us.

We took Carolyn to see some ducks, to her great delight- she loves ducks- and any book about ducks!!
Auntie Em did Carolyn's hair in French braids and also painted her toenails (it's an Aunt job :)) I have not stopped hearing about her pink toes since we got home. Carolyn doesn't like wearing socks right now because she always wants to see her toes. :)
On Saturday we went to the Brookfield Zoo and Carolyn had a really fun time looking at the animals, even though it was a little cold.
We've been at the park a lot lately, too. Carolyn's smiles and giggles are so good for my heart! She is such a ball of joy and it's really impossible to be in the depths of despair when she is there. I'm so thankful for her!!