"Plan"

Ugh... I hate "plan day." That's the fun day when you call the office and tell them you're definitely not pregnant and then they call you back and tell you what to do about it... have to admit, I'm feeling tired of the whole song and dance- and maybe a little sour- and struggling a bit with a bad attitude about everything. I know it's better for me to have a good attitude, a positive outlook, and a grateful hear- and I really am trying- but sometimes I'm as human as everyone else- and seriously, if I hear about ONE more "accidental" pregnancy I may just blow my top! I feel so discouraged and sad that this seems to be happening all around me to EVERYONE! I have such a hard time with it when it happens unintentionally to people who didn't even have a chance to desire a baby- whereas for months and months and months I've been yearning for this blessing and I keep getting passed up. :( It makes me sad, and sometimes I feel a little hopeless that it will ever change. Not every day, not every minute, but sometimes. :( Especially on "plan day," with the prospect of taking more medication that probably won't work... sigh... it's just one of those days today.

Here's this month's plan (for posterity's sake and because maybe someday I will want to remember the  minutiae of this season of our life which will, please God, be over sometime SOON!)
-Clomid day 3-7 (if I yell at you sometime in the next 2 weeks, that'll be why; it makes my "fuse" incredibly short!)
-Ovidrel (hcg injection) day 13
-Prometrium day 18-28
-test day 28
-Surgery (laparoscopy) scheduled for Friday, January 13.

The doctor is hopeful that the surgery will help us see what caused the ectopic in the first place and may hopefully reveal some fixable structural problem inside my body that is keeping us from being able to conceive. I would so appreciate your prayers as we go into this procedure, that something will be fixable, and that our insurance will decide to cover the procedure!